Picture Perfect?
by stealy
Summary: AU Emily is single and successful at her job but her boss refuses to promote her since she is not 'stable enough'. So her friend helps to push Emily's carreer by making up a fiancée. -the story is stolen, of course ;) - Emison vs. ?
1. Chapter 1

stealy - because the pretty characters & the content of a great movie are not mine, but I steal them nevertheless ^^

first attempt at fanfic, English = second language - sorry in advance.

* * *

Emily's apartment (in the dark)

"Hmmmm…we really should use my Kama Sutra app. I've got this unbelievable desire.."

_What the hell?_ *clap* *clap* I'm clapping to turn on the lights. I can't believe what I got myself into.. Again.. I push her off me while getting up from the couch. I thought she was different. Guess I wasn't aware to what extent..

"Something wrong?" she seems to be totally clueless that this offer was more than out of line. I'm walking quickly towards the door reaching for the handle to open it.

"No. No, that was great. Had a really nice night" I lie in order to get her out of my apartment - asap.

"Did I miss something?" she tries again.

"No nothing. You didn't miss anything. Nothing" I say pulling the door wide open for her to leave.

"Look," _Oh Gosh why can't she just leave already? _"I'll go for usual sex. I'll happily go for it. But I just gotta tell you right now, it's.., it's just not gonna be as good. It's not gonna be as.." and she punches the air in front of her.

_Did she really just do that?_ My look right now must already tell her that all her chances for tonight have left the room the second she mentioned her Kama Sutra somehow she does not get my reaction at all since she continues.

"I feel like I know you. I feel like I can be honest with you."

"Yeah…umm..you should really ignore all those feelings." I feel almost sorry for Zoe because I am usually not that unfriendly.

That is until she asks me: "Can I call you?"

"No!"

"Is that a real No?"

"No, you should consider that a " - I punch in front of me – "HARD No." and with that I close the door behind her as she leaves.


	2. Chapter 2

_thx Guest ;)_

* * *

"**I should never have gone on that date at all!** It was already weird that Zoe suggested meeting at this steakhouse that serves the most delicious steaks in town only to insult the waiters there before heading to an organic restaurant where the most trustworthy dish was a ridiculous small plate of vegan Zucchini Spaghetti for $17!"

By now Aria is laughing like crazy. She would have enjoyed the vegan noodles but she knew how much I'm into proper food like steaks or pizza and large portions. And she probably thought about that time Ezra had taken her to a vegan restaurant and had regretted it the minute he had seen the menu.

I needed to speak to someone who understands me after that weird date. That's why I called Aria. When her mother learned about her relationship with our English teacher in high school she tried everything to hook her daughter up with someone 'more appropriate' for her.

"Oh Emily.. Why did you even take her home after that?"

"I don't know. She seemed like a nice girl, kind of. I was pretty impressed when she told me about her volunteering in Nicaragua for Habitat of when she complimented with sophisticated words like being more photogenic than Venice I decided to give it a shot."

Since Aria is not saying anything at all I know she must be raising her right eyebrow and shaking her head, so I continue.

"Maybe that was the reason why I didn't get behind her plan to only use me as her bed bunny to try her new app."

_Not that I'm totally against having a casual affair but seriously asking me to try a Kama Sutra app? On the first date? And after I told her at the restaurant how I wanted it to take slowly?_

"Look, Em. I gotta go. But talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Take care. "

"You too. And don't worry there must be some hot girl in this universe who's gonna invite you to an unhealthy dinner one day. So keep looking out for her – but try to get your mom out of your love life!"

"Haha. I'll try my best.."


	3. Chapter 3

I still can't believe my mom set me up on a date with Zoe!

Speak of the devil.. ..my mom is calling.

"Hey Mom, do me a favour. Don't ever fix me up again!" With that I end the phone call and get ready for work.

My mother can get really annoying. Every other week she comes up with someone new for me to date.

Sometimes in the past I was not even aware that the person I just met had been put in place by my mom. I should have known something was wrong when my childhood sweetheart Ben had been calling me out of the blue and asked me to send his regards to my mother. - And that was only a few months after I reaffirmed that my relationship with Maya was not just a phase.. - It had been an attempt of my mom to 'spark my interest in men again' as she put it. After the phone call from Ben I called my mom to tell her that my future plans do not include waking up next to a flat and hairy breast. Two weeks later I mysteriously got to know a male model who had not even peach fuzz on his chin.. We spent a nice evening together. Another two weeks later I sent my mom a picture of my 'picture perfect future husband' and his boyfriend. After that I did not get to know any men at all and I was relieved because I thought my mom had given up on her hobby as a match maker.

And then my mother came up with Zoe..

Thank God I have great friends who don't get tired listening to my whining.

And I'm really lucky to call the scariest and bossiest employee in our agency one of my best friends. She's the company's Trojan horse – beautiful and graceful on the outside but can be dangerously intimidating if you pull the wrong stings and often reveals herself as a secret weapon. That's also the reason why people call her Troian behind her back. But Spencer doesn't mind. Sometimes I'm not sure whether she started that nickname herself since she seems to be kinda proud of her martial nickname. Spencer is also the one who got me that job at Kingston Advertising and gives me a push in the right direction whenever I need it.

Unfortunately, that doesn't help me to stay on the right path.. Not only is my love life D.O.A. but I am also stuck at my current job position.

The fact that I have a crush on the hottest chick in my company doesn't help as well and is quite depressing. Even more so since she is too busy to sleep around to notice me as more than a dinner date alibi in her schedule to cover up for her office affairs.

_Why can't I fall for the good girls instead of pining for the bad babes?_

TBC

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[Have a guess who's gonna be the bad babe ^^]


	4. Chapter 4

_here comes the bad babe_

* * *

"I don't know what happened. Somewhere along the way I screwed up. Either in high school or college or my early twenties."

I'm sitting on the sink and complain about my life while Spencer is reapplying her lip gloss during our coffee break.

"I mean, you know, I really thought 'Hey this is a snap. I like women. Women like me' but then somewhere in the last year or so I've just gotten so screwed up."

We are leaving the bathroom. Spencer confidently walks through the hallway and I follow her lead.

"This might not make any sense to you, Spence. I mean you've been married since you got out of college and successful from kindergarten on."

_"I was born this way, baby" she states while shortly glancing over her shoulder.

I'm already used to her attitude so I continue. "I think I'm finally coming to realize I like being single, you know?"

Spencer doesn't even bother looking at me.

"I love being self-sufficient. And lately I start believing that this is my nature. So what I'm going to do is: I'm just taking myself out of the game. Put my mother out of her misery. Put me out of my misery.. –Why are you looking at me like that?"

_"Sorry, let me understand this. So if ALISON asked you out-"

"SPENCER! Shh!" _OMG did Spencer just shout out HER name for everyone to hear?_

_"You would just say, 'No, ALISON.'?"

That's enough. I have to push her into one of the side corridors. Otherwise the whole office is gonna know about my crush on Alison DiLaurentis.

"Shh.. what are you doing? She works here." I scold her while quickly closing the door. "Do you want her to hear you?"

_"Alison. Alison." She says in a singsong voice. _Thank God we are in an empty corridor._

"Shut up!"

_"Alison! Ohhh, AAAAllli-son!"

_Damn, I didn't think that a name could sound that juicy. I hope Spencer doesn't know the effect it has on me to hear this particular name in a sexy voice. So I have to play it cool._

"Oh wow, did you lately change your number to a 1-900?"

_"Ohhhh, Allllii-"

I try to shut her up by hitting her. Bad idea..

_"Oh, hit me. Hit me. I love it, AAAllli."

"Oh GOD, you are unbelievable."

_"Hey, I'm still a lady, ok? So, address me politically correctly! It's ,GodDESS'!"

* * *

_ now, we need a good girl ;)  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the long intro.. the good girl is coming soon._

* * *

Spencer: "Okay, everyone. Let's start."

Spencer is introducing our next possible campaign and I've already got the feeling that this is going to be a long day..

Spencer: "Pepsi has traditionally been the number two coke in America. What the Pepsi's people are looking for is increased sampling. They're convinced that if they can get people to try their product, they'll keep on using it. Three other agencies in addition to ours have been invited to participate in the review. The pitch is on Friday...and we don't leave this room until we're solid on a concept."

Spencer is really relentless when it comes to possible advertising orders. The good news is that I didn't have any plans at all for tonight. Since I don't have anyone waiting for me at home I don't have to argue about my time consuming job. That's good, right?

Who am I kidding? I'm just lonely. But hey, I like being single. That's what I told Spencer. Now, I only have to convince myself.

At least I like my job. I'm not yet where I want to be but I love being creative. And thinking about possible campaign strategies for Pepsi is a welcome relief from the daily paperwork.

While everyone is busy thinking about an advertisement for Pepsi the door opens and Alison enters.

_Wow, she is soo beautiful, flawless even. Good thing she doesn't look in my direction otherwise she would catch me staring. But that also means she's not the least interested in me. I wish I was a Pepsi for her.. Then I would be at least her number two. And she would touch me softly while seductively licking her lips and leading me towards her flawless face and her luxurious lips and then..-Ok, let's concentrate on the task at hand again! Otherwise I will start drooling. And since I'm neither her number two nor number three or four or ten on her list this thought will get me nowhere. Number two.. Number two.. Who else is a number two? Didn't.._

"Didn't Cindy Crawford graduate second in her class?" I ask Spencer.

"Did Cindy Crawford graduate?" Spencer asks looking at our colleagues and raises one eyebrow.

"I think she did. Second in her class. In biochemistry, I think."

The other people in the room including Alison are looking sceptically at me.

"Please. My friend -my colleague- is having an epiphany." Spencer explains and no one dares to interrupt me.

"Ok" I start and Spencer motions for me to stand up. "I'll, uh, I'll give you|the print first." Everyone looks at me expectantly. "Um, okay. Big picture of Cindy Crawford."

"Already this is good." One of my male colleagues utters. _Of course it is. We're talking about Cindy Crawford!_

"The headline reads 'If you never gave number two a try, think what you'd be missing.'"

I look at Alison and she seems to be intrigued. I have to look away in order to stay focused and continue.

"In comes a picture of Cindy and beneath that, a little log line that says,

'Cindy Crawford graduated second from Podunk University, a B.S. in biochemistry. Then on the facing page, a beauty shot of Cindy holding a Pepsi." Sean, one of my colleagues, is already drooling.

"And beneath that in big letters, Pepsi. Number two worldwide, and that ain't bad."

...

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_Think about the 90s' Cindy Crawford: . /83ac282ce9a70e2bafefa4216418a9ee/tumblr_mqv2rc4MLq1rnm5jlo1_  
_


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